The Conversation betwixt Sleep and a College Student

What if Sleep and a college student had a conversation? I imagine it would go something like this.

(opening scene Freshmen year first semester)

Sleep: Hi! I noticed you met all of your best friends these past two weeks and I felt a bit slighted. We were thick as thieves in elementary school and I hope we can still be besties in college. I know that we drifted a bit in high school, but we have four years to make up for that before you have to actually be a real person.


Student: Hi sleep, it’s so nice to see you! Sorry I have to dash! I need to brush up on tango before ballroom club, ukulele club, an intramural ping-pong game and a dance marathon meeting!

(12 AM that same day)

Sleep: I don’t know how you juggle two clubs, intramurals and the largest organization on campus. Are you up for hanging out now?

Student: Silly sleep. I’m in college now, no one hangs with you until at least 4 AM. Plus my suit mates and I are going to this club called Players…We can hang out all day saturday pre-brunch at Rams!

(Sophomore year)

Sleep: Do you think that you should give those chocolate covered coffee beans a rest?

Student: Coffee is liquid gold. Plus I might be in this coffee shop all night pretending to do work, but actually writing lyrics for my new blue grass band and brushing up on my social media skills- I need to put that on my resume to get an internship this summer. Plus the UNC game is coming on and we have a chance of becoming NATIONAL CHAMPS this year- even you would loose a few Z’s for that, sleep.

(Junior Year)

Student: (runs into sleep’s arms) O’ sleep I have missed thee/ why have thou forsaken me. I was up all night writing my twenty-five page Shakespeare analysis AND a lab report.

Sleep: I will make you some piping hot tea so that you can relax as soon as you submit it!

Student: I wish, but I need to go to this leadership meeting and it’s my friends 21st birthday tonight. So I have to help decorate for her themed party before we go out!!

(Senior Year)

Walks by sleep and begins to ignore Sleep because student thinks they were “freshmen friends.”

Sleep: Hi! How are you! Look at those bags under your eyes!

Student: Hi sleep! I can’t look that bad can I? I have been alternating between my thesis, job applications and raging. My mac has been threatening to move out because of the amount of windows I have been running.

Sleep: Remember you are a Senior Citizen now. Take a break and come hang out.

Student: But you see sleep… I only have three weeks left at my beautiful home. I want to capture it all. (eyes start to get teary)

Sleep: I can’t fault you for that. (hands student a tissue and gives them a hug) But, when you look like a zombie it’s impossible to enjoy your time. Take a twenty minute nap and then sit in the pit and relive the past four years.

Student: Thanks Sleep. I might start taking your advice.

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